Spiritual awakening sweeps SA’s honorable leaders

Good news for the Christian church in South Africa. There is a massive spiritual awakening among honourable members.

They are attending church services in droves. Even leading singing and preaching inspirational sermons.

Who better than those who have lived shining lives of humble service to the people? In whose mouths a lie dare not dwell. Whose fingers have never caressed a R10 note earned dishonestly.

I wish that I could attend such services. Just the notion raises the gooseflesh on my arms. Could this be the longed-for revival? Surely things are looking up for South Africa – as our honourable leaders look up for guidance.

There will be testimonies of the miraculous, for example, the transformation of South Africa from a colonised mess to the people’s paradise that it now is. What do you mean: what paradise? Do we not have more billionaires than ever before? Do we not have promises of smart cities and bullet trains?

Do we not have Tintswalo and state hospitals that rival anything that private health can produce?

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Did not ANC Youth League president Collen Malatji tell us that the ANC pays us for being born, living, schooling and more? What do you mean, you haven’t been paid? Contact Malatji without delay, with your banking details. And PAYE number.

Cynics and unbelievers may retort that all this spirituality coincides suspiciously with election season. What can be done about the unbelieving heart? I suppose it will, like the poor, be with us always. To them I say: the Lord works in mysterious ways.

ANC secretary-general Fikile Mbalula said: “The church is integral to our work.” I am confident we will see this flood of spirituality unleashed post 29 May – a kinder, gentler South Africa. Can’t wait.

So great has been the outpouring, that some uMkhonto weSizwe party supporters confused Jacob Zuma with a saviour. These things happen in the throes of religious ecstasy.

So moved was I that I sought out some biblical verses appropriate to the time. I found these, purely by happenstance… or divine guidance?

I trust that our leaders, wise always and freshly inspired, will unravel the significance of these verses for us: “Show me a righteous ruler and I will show you a happy people. Show me a wicked ruler and I will show you a miserable people”.

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• In SA, the satire writes itself. I have a blog, The Scuffle Continues, once rated by Feedspot as one of the top 100 satirical blogs on the internet – for whatever that’s worth.