Shady trio try a tryst

Boris, Donald and Jacob hail respectively from Downing Street, Hotel Doonbeg in Ireland and Nkandla.

Boris: Good evening, honourable gentlemen. Thanks for agreeing to this rather risky get-together. If the media gets hold of it, we’re done for. Especially me. The proverbial fan has hit, and my people are rubbing my nose it. So I’m in desperate need of like a major distraction. You, Jacob had success with the KZN riot. And Donald, what about the attack on the Pentagon – both master strokes to keep the hounds off you.

Donald: Now hang in there, pardner, let’s not be hasty. It hasn’t as yet been proved I had anything to do with it. So let’s not put the proverbial cart before the horse.

Jacob: That’s right, Boris. Nor have I been implicated – except conjecture on the part of my enemies. They think I had the proverbial Ace up my sleeve to trump them. Heh-heh, like that Donald?”

Boris: Gentlemen, may I call you to order. I’m desperate for a happening to take the nation’s mind off my little … err … misdemeanor. Allow me some respect.

Jacob: Sorry, Boris, but you were a little stupid being caught with your proverbial pants down. Not even motor mouth Juju Malema will be seen partying. But hey, gents, can I digress?” Collective sighs from both Boris and Donald: Sure, go ahead.

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Jacob: It’s about your hairstyles. Heh, heh. Guys, you can’t be serious going about like a Laurel and Hardy with hair that’s been pulled through a thorn bush. And the colours. What’s it, ginger, red or both? In Africa, bald heads command respect. Look at me. Oops, no don’t look at me. I am after all, a jailbird, so not the best example of a strong leader. But you do look like clowns.

Boris: Well, Jacob, at least they don’t call us shower heads. Hawhaw.

Donald: Tee-hee.

Jacob: Sorry to interrupt, comrades, in two minutes we’re in for load shedding, so we’ll have to meet some other time.

Donald: Doggone. Damnation. It shouldn’t happen to a proverbial dog.

Boris: Alas and alack. . . Nkandla goes dark.

Jacob: Awu siyabona! Good riddance, clowns.