Schabir Shaik’s memoirs on Zuma would be bestseller

Just think, had Schabir Shaik decided to write and publish his memoirs to coincide with the sentencing of his enthusiastic economics learner, Jacob, and the present drama playing before a dumbfounded nation, the book would have outsold those of our Deon Meyer and Wilbur Smith.

It’s not every day only one man is jailed for having a criminal relationship and the one with whom he has one goes free. But then, in South Africa under the present regime, anything can happen. But what a story to tell. Especially the part where Jacob is nabbed, albeit for a different crime.

How does the author feel about an outcome he thought would never happen? Is he still aggrieved at having taken the fall? Or proud of his bright student for having run rings around the law and judiciary for so long? Those answers alone would’ve made riveting reading.

Schabir would have had the book published on the never-never. Newspaper publisher Dr Iqbal Surve would have done the design and printing via the help of a sleeper at the PIC. Iqbal would have probably decided on the appropriate title and graphic on the jacket.

Something like Pocketing a President and superimposed over a cartoon caricature of two okes holding hands, ascending the steps into the entrance of a Pollsmore Prison.

Finding someone to write the foreword poses no problem. There’s the wordsmith Carl Niehaus who will put the smart-ass spin on the piece, persuading the reader that the writer and his subject are heroes, not criminals. Not forgetting, he also learnt from the master how to use faked death to justify early parole and insurance claims.

Chapters could be filled with covert meetings in France with arms suppliers and, in South Africa, with no less than the deputy president. The method used to reward his parliamentary representative and influencer of tender contracts smacks of a David Baldacci mafia thriller.

The narrative, like all best sellers, is open-ended in case something untoward happens. It has. The sequel, Zuma Cheats Jail, will have Shabir taking a more bitter view. This time, Iqbal and Carl won’t feature, so he will need two virtuous partners for another bestseller. Any takers?