Reunion of school of hard knocks

I was listening to the radio the other day and they were talking about high school reunions. Some people look forward to them and some try and avoid them at all costs.

Apparently, our time in school is an indication of what life will look like in terms of career, family life and how many times you will be arrested (based on the number of visits you had to the principal’s office).

I would love to be a fly on the wall if our trusted leaders had high school reunions, as a lot would make sense. I bet you Uncle Gweezee (Gwede Mantashe) was one of the matriculants who stole from the tuck shop when it was his turn to sell samp and beans.

ALSO READ: With all this hype, you would think Prime tastes like a million bucks

Knowing him, he also colluded with the gravy supplier to get a cut of their sales, as he would upsell their offerings to inexperienced form one (now Grade 8) pupils during initiation.

How else do you think our uncle in the mineral resources and energy business got so good at wheeling and dealing? He used the same underhanded modus operandi to push through the Karpowership deal – fraught with dubious environmental impact assessments and risking South Africa’s ability to meet its climate change commitments.

There were always the cool kids who would get away with absolutely anything. This was due to a number of reasons, such as wealthy parents who sponsored the staff room tea and biscuits or their family lineage having attended the school.

ALSO READ: De Lille has me thinking her dept might make an urgently needed recovery

This is the case with the majority of our tenderpreneur political leaders who refer to themselves as “comrade” and “leadership”.

Our prefects have found a loophole to allow Russia’s head boy to attend the Brics (Brazil, Russia, India, China and South Africa) summit in August, to be hosted by South Africa.

All attendees have been granted diplomatic immunity under the Diplomatic Immunities and Privileges Act, just in case the International Criminal Court’s school governing board comes knocking, looking for a criminal who invaded Youkraine preparatory school.

The thing about high school reunions is that most of the cool kids who were up to mischief back then are now behind bars, or on their way. The only difference with our leaders is that they are taking the whole school down with them.

ALSO READ: Who is going to write a sign for Eskom?

The rest of us have worked tirelessly to get our marks to an acceptable level, but with each gaffe, our school will end up at the bottom of all ratings.