The reality of aging: A hearing aid for my birthday?

I wish I could say I’m immune to old age, but I’m not. Regular readers of this column will remember that I suffered from an ear infection resulting in a fractured ear drum late last year.

I recovered quickly – or so I thought.

“Your hearing is terrible after that thing with your ear,” the lovely Snapdragon said a while ago.

“Excuse me?” I replied.

“Exactly,” she said.

I hoped she wouldn’t notice, but there is very little those pretty eyes don’t see.

Of course, I knew my hearing wasn’t as good as before, but I didn’t think it was too bad.

As a matter of fact, if you have a wife with a tongue as sharp as mine, it’s sometimes better not to hear everything. Until I went to my local supermarket one evening this week.

I have done all my grocery shopping at this supermarket for the last 10 years and I don’t only know most of the cashiers, but we often share a joke.

Not that I could see the funny side of things when one of my favourite cashiers greeted me enthusiastically: “Good evening, Madala!”

“Madala?” I replied. “I’m certainly not that old!”

She looked at me like a bad teacher would look at a pupil who couldn’t grasp the simplest math problem.

“I didn’t say Madala, I said ‘my darling!’”

I wasn’t a happy camper when I got home. I would much rather be a darling than an old man.

“Do you really think my hearing has gone to the dogs since I had that burst eardrum?” I asked Snapdragon.

“Yes, she replied. “I think so. But I could be wrong. Perhaps it’s just old age kicking in.”

I could hear those words clearly, but I pretended not to.

I’m not old, am I? It’s my birthday next week.

Snapdragon asked me what I would like as a gift. I was thinking of something cool: a new pair of hitop sneakers to make me look good when I ride on my scooter.

Or one of those baseball caps which the youngsters like so much – I would wear it with the peak facing backwards to make it clear I’m not only young at heart, but also in touch with modern street fashion.

I’m not so sure any more.

A hearing aid may just be more appropriate…

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