Our fight against GBV must go beyond 16 Days of Activism

The 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children campaign for 2019 concluded on December 10. In its conclusion, there were things to be proud of as we later celebrated Reconciliation Day this week.

Although the 16 days has to move to 365 days of activism, for the first time I saw most of the conversations moving towards the inclusion of perpetrators and potential perpetrators, boys and men.

There were a lot of gatherings for men and there were also a lot talks regarding the involvement of the boy child. The conversations during the 16 days of activism included both boys and men and required them to be central to the discussion.

This was promising.

We cannot win the war against gender-based violence (GBV) if we neglect looking at boys and men. We can’t neglect, though, talking about the safety of women and children.

Since we know we cannot get rid of the toxicity and violence in men using a magic wand, we should talk about the involvement of both boys and men and the safety of girls or children and women throughout the year.

We should not wait for another case of an Uyinene Mrwetyana, Karabo Mokoena or Reeva Steenkamp for us to talk about this deeply rooted crisis in our society. Sadly, this has been the case. We want or need another girl child or woman to be victimised or killed to make this central to our daily conversations.

To see boys, like the young men I mentor at the Young Men Movement (YMM), pledge to be good men and never perpetuate any kind of violence is encouraging. To hear them say, “Bro KayBee, we are the ones who abuse our sister, mothers, aunts and grandmothers in most cases, and for us to eradicate GBV in our communities, as boys and men, we have to deal with rejection, our masculinity and behaviour differently and progressively.”

I completely embrace the sentiments of my mentees. More so because we have been empowering them to be better men. We fully comprehend that having men who are feminists, who are surely against violence, and who will also help us get rid of rape culture and harassment tendencies, will help the cause.

I know we are all in a festive mood already, and we probably don’t want to have these kinds of heavy discussions. Nevertheless, rape happens every day of our lives in South Africa. A woman is violated every day. Thus, we ought to have these conversations daily.

As many will be moving on to, jokingly, but consciously, say, “the 16 days of activism are over, girl or lady,” then continue to verbally and physically harass girls and women, I realise those 16 days are not enough to conscientise and bring about the change we have envisaged.

Thus, beyond the 16 days, we have to keep on talking about the importance of being active for 365 days, talking and discussing No Violence Against Children and Women.

Kabelo Chabalala is the founder and chairperson of the Young Men Movement (YMM), an organisation that focuses on the reconstruction of the socialisation of boys to create a new cohort of men. Email kabelo03chabalala@gmail.com; Twitter @KabeloJay; Facebook Kabelo Chabalala

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