Your child’s failure calls for more support, not less

Parents should reconcile with their children who didn’t pass in 2020. For such an emotionally taxing year, accepting any outcome from your child’s academic effort is paramount.

The circumstances pupils found themselves in this year were extraordinary. It certainly doesn’t justify hostility towards any child by their own parents for having to repeat doing any grade. The academic year was hectic. And if there was ever a time 16 December resonated with me, the 2020 National Reconciliation Day carries that depth.

Many learners received their school reports over the past few days. I witnessed parents who were infuriated by the disappointing results of their children. Others were angered by the fact that their children lost textbooks, and they were required to fork out R250 or so to replace those books.

Rules are rules, all parents have to comply.

What irritated one particular parent was the fact that before she left home, she had asked her child if there would be any surprises she should expect at school. Her son confidently told her that all is well. Only to find out that her child had forgotten to tell her about a certain donation that was agreed upon at a parents’ meeting.

She didn’t have the money with her, and that meant going back home and coming back to the school to pay and then get the final term academic report. She left for home fuming, even after we tried to make her see reason.

Ideally, the 2020 Academic year should have been scrapped. But the powers that be didn’t see that as a viable move. The anxiety and fear of being killed by an unseen enemy with no cure can affect anyone negatively. Especially children, who also happen to be pupils.

If a child didn’t pass this year, it is okay. If they passed, it is also okay. However, what will never be okay is the devaluing of children’s feelings and the impact this pandemic has had on them.

The arrival of our democracy brought about another significant day to commemorate as a public holiday. We observe Reconciliation Day on the 16th. And 25 years later, as we pause and think about unity, it is equally important that people reconcile with their immediate family members.

On this special day, we are all given an opportunity to reconsider, to reach out to one another, to deal with the misfortunes of this horrible year and to even be more empathetic towards one another. After all, we need each other as a family more than anything.

The pupils who didn’t pass tried their level best. No matter how scared, worried, uncertain and vulnerable they were, they went ahead to write their exams. They went ahead to attend classes, complete projects, write assignments, tests and examinations.

This year, the government encouraged us to unite against any form of intolerances. To not tolerate failure under a pandemic from a child who gave their best under very difficult circumstances is unacceptable.

May parents heal and be even kinder to their children, no matter the result of their 2020 final report cards.

Kabelo Chabalala.

Kabelo Chabalala is the founder and chairperson of the Young Men Movement (YMM), an organisation that focuses on the reconstruction of the socialisation of boys to create a new cohort of men. Email, kabelo03chabalala@gmail.com; Twitter, @KabeloJay; Facebook, Kabelo Chabalala

For more news your way, download The Citizen’s app for iOS and Android.