Orchids and Onions: Being real is not easy

Authenticity is something which many brands – and their ad agencies – will claim as a part of their “marketing DNA”.

Few of them, though, get it right. Whether it’s the cold, wooden delivery of supposedly “real people” or the too-slick patter of paid actors, attempts at being “genuine” frequently fall flat.

I happened upon a piece from TikTok posted on Twitter by Mike Sharman from retroviral, as part of a bit of work they are doing with Checkers and that group’s agency, 99c.

It features comedian Donovan Goliath doing a semi-rap rhyming piece about the dramas of life which can be eased by using Checkers Sixty60 app.

This online shopping app guarantees delivery of your groceries within an hour, hence the name.

And, judging from what I see on social media and hear when I’m out and about, it has won itself many fans during the lockdowns – fans who’ve now moved to using it as more than emergency back-up, but as one of their main
methods of doing regular shopping.

We see Donovan trying to navigate the problems of life, now that he and his wife have a baby – they need nappies, they need dog food, etc, etc – and he seems to be stuck behind his laptop in Zoom meetings the whole day.

Who hasn’t been there? It’s simple, it’s humorous and it is real. Though Goliath may be a comedian, this is a real slice of his life … and that of many others.

It’s also a great way of reminding people of the benefits of Sixty 60, so Orchids to Goliath (and his wife), as well as retroviral, 99c and, of course, Checkers, for the app, which is also doing a great job of marketing itself.

• Seldom has there been something as polarising in middleclass South African society as the issue of Covid vaccination.

At the outset, let me nail my colours to the mast: I am fully behind it and am fully vaccinated myself and, frankly, I am running out of patience with the anti-vaxxers, who repeatedly say “do your research”, while ignoring the huge volume of scientific studies which show that vaccines are the best way back to normality and that they are safe.

I do not buy the argument that this is a human rights or freedom of speech issue. Neither of those are unlimited.

When society is facing a massive medical emergency, people need to act for the greater good. Many selfish South Africans cannot see that. As a business owner, though, one has to tread carefully when negotiating vaccines.

If you are anti-vaxx, then airing that fact on your business communication channels is not the best idea. As did one Zelma le Roux at manageyourimage.co.za – who this week forwarded bundles of anti-vaxx conspiracy theories to journalists around the country as part of what looks like an organised attempt by the tinfoil hat-wearing loonies to drum up support.

You get an Onion from me, Zelma, and I would advise anyone to avoid your business … unless they want to contract Covid from someone who clearly hasn’t been vaccinated.

• The opposite of this is the example of Mozambik restaurant franchise owner Angelo Zachariades, who said on Twitter that the entire staff at his place in Menlyn, Pretoria, had been vaccinated to help make it a safer dining venue.

He attracted the wrath of the loonies, who used their hackneyed arguments about coercion, freedom blah, blah, blah… ignoring him when he said the staff had done so voluntarily after they had been given the full facts by
department of health personnel, who visited the restaurant.

There were threats of a boycott from the anti-vaxxers, but even more people said they would make a point of visiting the restaurant. So will I, because I will support a business which does the right thing. So Orchids to Mozambik and “Old Man Zack” (his Twitter handle). Mine’s going to be a Portuguese steak and my wife will do the prawns …

• PR tip of the week: don’t bullshit in your press releases. That goes out to Amber April of Irvine Partners, whose breathless bit of rubbish this week proclaimed that cheapflights.co.za was “the world’s leading travel search engine”.

Not just SA’s, mind, but on the entire planet. Bigger than Expedia, TripAdvisor and Google Flights to name but a
few … I asked her how she came to this conclusion and in return: crickets.

PR people: don’t make up stuff. It makes you look stupid and the brand you claim to be representing, look dishonest.

The Onions go not only to April herself, but to Irvine Partners for allowing it to be sent, and to cheapflights.co.za, who must have seen it and approved it yet let it go, while knowing it was nonsense.

Lest you think I am wrong, consider this. Cheapflights.co.za is ranked only 488 in terms of SA websites – and in the category travel and tourism in SA, is ranked just fourth.