Our ‘7 lean years’ with Mkhwebane have begun

As a youngster, I loved listening to the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat on my dad’s record player, based on biblical tales of Ancient Egypt.

According to the Book of Genesis, the Pharaoh dreamt of seven lean cows that devoured seven fat cows, and of seven withered ears of grain that devoured seven fat ears. When the Pharaoh’s advisers failed to interpret the dream, the cup-bearer remembered Joseph.

Joseph interpreted it as seven years of abundance followed by seven years of famine, and advised the Pharaoh to store surplus grain.

By pure coincidence, public protector terms of office in South Africa are also seven, non-renewable, years. If our current public protector, Busisiwe Mkhwebane, keeps taking her vitamins, looking left and right before crossing roads and strapping on her seatbelt, then we can expect to only see a new public protector again in late 2023.

Those are a lot of years to get through if it turns out our elected representatives in parliament may not have chosen our constitutional champion wisely.

Perhaps it’s still too early to judge her, but from where I sit, there hasn’t been even a glimmer of hope that she will be placing the needs of our vastly overexploited and insulted public over those of a deeply parasitic and corrupt government.

What was perhaps most disappointing about all Mkhwebane’s public comments to date was the one in which she reportedly told the Sunday Times she planned to have a much less “confrontational” approach towards government officials and be more accommodating.

“Why must I be in a confrontational mood? I will get what I want. If there is any maladministration, it will come out,” she was reported as saying.

Oh really, now? How will THAT work? It makes you wonder what flavour of fool she takes us for.

The whole purpose of the public protector is to investigate instances where state officials have been abusing their positions of power at the expense of the tax-paying public (which is everyone by the way, not just the privileged, since even the poorest people pay some form of tax, even if it’s just VAT).

Our state officials know only too well they should not be doing naughty things and will obviously do everything in their power to avoid being caught doing it.

Are they more likely to just roll over and declare all their misdemeanours to Mkhwebane just because she happens to be asking very pleasantly for a full itemised list of all their corruption, nepotism and state plunder?

Perhaps there’s a world in which Msholozi picks up the phone to Busi and says, “Eish, I wasn’t going to tell you about that kickback I got from Vladimir to ensure Rosatom is given the R1 trillion nuclear deal … but you were just so polite when you asked about it, so yebo, it’s true. You got me! He heeh.”

If there is such a world, it isn’t this one.

I remember witnessing the triumph and glee when the high court ruled that the public protector’s recommendations are as legally binding as a court order. That’s great, I thought. But what happens if the next public protector is not quite so morally dependable? We’ll have created a neat little monster and given it a bazooka to blast us with.

Thuli Madonsela was never perfect, and I often felt she was actually far too soft when it came to holding our officials to account. Zuma was ultimately only made to repay the market-related costs of what was built for him at Nkandla, not the ridiculously overinflated prices we were made to pay for a chicken run, cattle kraal, culvert, amphitheatre, “fire pool” and everything else that just barely sneaked into the definition of “security-related upgrades”.

Madonsela could have investigated far more and been far harsher. There was a small part of me that dared to believe Mkhwebane might be Thuli 2.0: Leaner, Meaner and With Lots Of Shiny Rings Around Her Neck.

But no. I almost rejoiced when news broke last week that she said she was intending to oppose Zuma’s legal challenge of Madonsela’s State of Capture report … only to read that she’s still taking legal advice on whether she should do so – which most analysts have dejectedly assumed means she will ultimately roll over and let Zuma tickle her belly over the whole thing.

“Now who’s a good girl! You are! Yeeesss!”

In case you think I’m overreacting, keep in mind that Mkhwebane has already declared that she agrees with Zuma that he should be allowed to appoint any judge he likes to head up Madonsela’s proposed commission of inquiry to investigate his own alleged corrupt relationship with the Gupta family and their businesses. Sounds as absurd as a fire pool, but there you go.

Madonsela was hoping to future-proof her own rushed report and its recommendations against anyone trying to duck responsibility after she’d left. But she clearly hadn’t counted on just how large the smiles were going to be on both Mkhwebane and Zuma’s faces while our new public protector was paying him that “courtesy call” last year.

Here are those smiles again, in case you’ve forgotten.

Fun times at the presidential house. Picture: ‏@SAgovnews

Madonsela carefully explained she had recommended in her report that Zuma should be made to ask the chief justice to pick the inquiry’s judge precisely so that Zuma could not unduly weigh the scales in his favour from the start.

That was her trying to store some grain against corruption, to perhaps get us through the “seven lean years”.

But that’s perhaps already been swiftly undone, as Mkhwebane has reportedly declared that all judges are equally good and all of them are perfectly unbiased … which makes you wonder what Mkhwebane thinks happened during Judge Willie Seriti’s Arms Procurement Commission.

Let’s not be naive though. Of course Mkhwebane knows giving Zuma the chance to pick his own judge will be advantageous to him. To make it worse, Zuma doesn’t even want the opportunity to do that any more. His lawyers now prefer their chances of success by simply letting Mkhwebane handle everything herself.

Mkhwebane has been staging a little bit of a protest at this idea, but I suspect that’s intended purely for the cameras. She’s not saying that she doesn’t want to do it, just moaning that she lacks the resources for it, which no doubt can be easily remedied.

The state capture investigation looks to be heading right back into Mkhwebane’s lap, giving her yet another opportunity to go and have a few friendly cups of tea with the president at Mahlamba Ndlopfu and perhaps go and have a delicious spot of curry in Saxonwold while working flat out on her more “comprehensive report” on this urgent matter for the next six and a half years.

It’s a pitiful sight, to think of the moral tower of strength Madonsela’s legacy ultimately came to exemplify to so many South Africans (and a figure of derision to those on the wrong side of history) being suddenly toppled overnight by her successor.

I get that some people are saying we should give her a chance to prove herself. I’d say she’s proven more than enough already, thank you.

Seven years of feasting all end with the arrival of one bad year. And seven years of famine can feel like forever.

Charles Cilliers, Citizen.co.za digital editor