All eyes were on Uncle Cyril last night. Not because we don’t have an idea of the state in which our nation finds itself, but because we were hoping for the answers to some of our problems.
Of course we didn’t get them – our problems are simply too complex to solve in a single Sona, but we are hopefully all left with a better understanding of the headaches politicians have to deal with.
Some, anyway, because conventional wisdom has it that many of their headaches come from expensive drinks on the taxpayers’ account.
I can’t vouch for that, but I know that I don’t want to exchange jobs with Uncle Cyril. While those South Africans who still have jobs will conjure up romantic gestures to lure their crushes today, Uncle Cyril will continue his quest to romance investors.
International investors are cruel and heartless mistresses. Some say even more so than the lovely Snapdragon, who has banned any form of romance from our home. Which is a pity, because according to the experts romance has considerable health benefits.
Not the stressful spine-tingling romance which is part of a new relationship, mind you. But a more stable love and good health are intertwined in surprising ways.
Researchers have found romance means less depression, substance abuse, doctors visits, anxiety, lower blood pressure, fewer headaches, colds and backaches and a longer, happier life.
Hmmm. I have some of those… I think I need to self-medicate with a bit of that outlawed romance. I yearn for a heart-shaped chocolate for my blood pressure and a candlelit dinner for my cold.
Snappy, don’t be surprised if I give you flowers or even cook a meal today. But the most romantic gesture of all has always been the messages in newspapers. Not the ones about bringing a lost lover back or intimate dysfunction – I mean the romantic ones on Valentine’s Day.
I forgot to book a spot in the classified section, but I will sacrifice a line or two in this column for the love of my life. Snapdragon, my words of romance to you is this: you don’t suck half as much as I often think.
May you enjoy all the health benefits of romance today.
And you, Uncle Cyril: may your courtship of the investors benefit our economy’s critical hypertension for many years to come.
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