I have to confess something which I thought I would never say: I’m ashamed to be South African.
Women’s Month has shown us that we are a bunch of thugs who don’t have the integrity to look after the gender that forms the backbone of a civilised society. And the recent spate of xenophobic attacks has shown the world that our barbarism is not limited to women’s issues.
All this while Uncle Cyril tries to convince world leaders that we deserve their investments.
Luckily we have the ruling party’s secretary-general Ace Magashule to put things in perspective: he has denied the existence of xenophobia in the country, saying it is “just” criminality that has taken over.
Thanks, Ace! For a second I was worried that these attacks are bad, now I know it’s “just” criminality. Move on, folks. Nothing to see here. We’re “just” looting foreigners’ shops.
In other parts of Africa people have reacted to the attacks… by looting South African businesses. Which is probably “just” your common or garden variety criminality too, isn’t it, bra Ace?
The Nigerians in Johannesburg have gone a step further. They have launched a revolt against the xenophobic attacks and are calling on the terrorist group Boko Haram to “unleash revenge in SA”.
The group is best known for the kidnapping of the 276 Chibok schoolgirls. They don’t believe women should be educated and experts say the girls have been used as cooks and sex slaves.
Of course it is totally unnecessary for Boko Haram to get involved here. We have, after all, proven repeatedly that we are more than capable of kidnapping our own schoolgirls and sexually harass our own women, thank you very much.
We’re also good at multitasking. While we’re burning foreigners’ shops, we laugh at Donald Trump’s idea to build a wall between the United States and Mexico.
Can you believe that jerk’s disrespect for people who were not born in his country?
Maybe the time has come for us to consider such a wall on our borders with Mozambique, Zimbabwe, Botswana and Namibia.
Not to keep the rest of Africa out – rather to protect them against us. Because, as bra Ace have said so aptly, we’re not xenophobic. We’re “just” a bunch of criminals.