Columns 31.7.2018 08:15 am

The moon was the star of the Armageddon no-show

Picture: NASA

Picture: NASA

I suppose if the end of planet Earth was to be announced by lunar eclipse, this would have been the one.

I must admit, I wasn’t all that convinced the world would end on Friday. After all, we don’t live in the dark ages. We know the earth is not flat, we know that lightning is caused by friction between clouds and we know exactly when every lunar eclipse will occur.

But when it comes to Armageddon, one cannot be too careful, so I did make some preparations.

I ensured that the pantry was decently stocked – not quite as stocked as in 1994 but, hey, I’m definitely not ever eating bully beef again – that there were spare batteries for the torch, the gas bottles were full and of course I stocked up on KWV’s finest. The end of the world would surely not be preceded by a sobriety test?

Just as an added precaution, I filled up both my and the 2IC’s cars. Every Armageddon movie I’ve ever seen features a road littered with vehicles that have run dry. In my movie, I’ll be the one driving until the credits start rolling.

Then I invited some friends over for dinner. Nothing spectacular like a last supper type of meal – we had a simple pasta and Bolognese sauce, loads of cheese, hot chilli sauce and garlic bread. Rounded off with Irish coffee.

The evening was absolutely splendid. The star was, of course, the moon, and what a magnificent role she played. From the moment she peeked over the horizon and all through the eclipse, she had us mesmerised.

I’m sure somebody out there was singing Kumbaya. In fact, I’m pretty convinced that pastors John Hagee and Mark Biltz were part of that choir. They were, after all, the two main proponents of an Armageddon-theory linked to blood moons and eclipses.

They’ve actually been going at it – and each other – for years, the one claiming the other stole his research on when the world would end.

Friday’s eclipse was the longest total lunar eclipse of the 21st century, so I suppose if the end of planet Earth was to be announced by a lunar eclipse, that would have been the one.

Fortunately for me, I have until January 21 next year to “dispose” of my extra pantry stock.

That’s when the next lunar eclipse is due.

Maybe I’ll stock up on moonshine for that one.

Danie Toerien.

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