Now that’s cricket!

After watching the crotch-scratching Aussie cricketers in action and feeling very down under, we decided to have a night out at our favourite eatery.

A quiet, romantic interlude – with candle and all – was what the doctor would’ve ordered, given the disappointment and disgust at seeing the gentlemen’s game being brought into anything but gentlemanly and sporting behaviour.

The table was in the right place and the candle set the tone for causing us to forget the ball tampering and whimpering, guilty players caught with their pants down.

What we hadn’t noticed at first on entering what was designed as a private alcove for smart dining, was a table alongside ours, set for at least a dozen diners. Not to worry, the table remained empty during our hors d’oeuvres. Our privacy was assured. Wrong.

Suddenly, out of the blue, the quiet atmosphere was rent asunder with raucous laughter and high-pitched banter. It turned out to be a team of golfers, who had obviously spent some time on the 19th and were ready to continue partying.

It brought back memories of what was then accepted as extended lunches for those involved in the publishing and advertising world.

Bonhomie and noise the normal ingredients for sessions conveniently called networking. So, I was comfortable with this intrusion, but my Heidi didn’t share my sentiments (probably also remembering those days of yore with discomfort).

And, true to form, we were soon spotted and became targets of our overfriendly neighbours.

One oke, close to our table, leaned over and apologised on behalf of the “boets”, promising they’ll try “keeping it down”.

He then proceeded to tell us about one of his pals who, after a particularly poor round, spotted a lake as he walked despondently up the 18th.

He looked at his caddie and said: “I’ve played so badly all day, I think I’m going to drown myself in that lake.” The caddie, quick as a flash, replied: “I’m not sure you can keep your head down that long.”

Nice okes? Must be, they picked up our bill “for spoiling your evening”.

Now that’s cricket!