Next time I’ll ask Mrs Google not for the closest plumber, but the cheapest

Last week, we had a water leak. I only noticed when the water started seeping up through the paving.

With the price of water, I knew that I had to act quickly, so I immediately asked Mrs Google for a list of plumbers in my area. The closest is literally 1km down the road and I had barely ended the call when Mr Plumber and his team arrived.

I showed him where I suspected the leak to be and he responded with that typical shake of the head and clicking of the tongue sound – the universal abbreviation for: this is going to cost you a lot more than you are bargaining on.

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The verbal cost estimate was as vague as a rugby referee’s explanation for awarding a penalty when a scrum collapses. The bottom line, however, was that Mr Plumber would first have to rip up a section of paving and open up the pipe to determine the extent of the leak before a real cost calculation could be done. Having no choice, I nodded hesitantly.

Turns out there was one little hole in the main water pipe the size of a matchstick. Some plug-contraption was fitted, the hole filled, and the paving restored. Mr Plumber kept telling me how lucky I was. If the whole pipe had to be replaced, I probably would have needed a second bond. Then I get the invoice.

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Added to the astronomical amount, there is also an extremely high call-out fee.

“Good heavens,” I quipped, “I didn’t realise you had to fly in from Cape Town for this job.” Mr Plumber was not amused and insisted the call-out fee was not negotiable. Standard rate for all call-outs.

Again, with no choice, all I could do was pay up and look pleasant. I understand that it costs Mr Plumber to come to my house. He has to pay for his vehicle, the fuel, and maintenance. And I also understand that I can’t take my leaking pipe to him for repairs, same as one cannot take a clogged drain or dripping tap in. It’s a job that has to be done on-site.

But charging a small fortune for a 1km trip? Next time I’ll ask Mrs Google not for the closest plumber, but the cheapest.

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