No jab, no Xmas, for vaxx’s sake

You cancelled my Christmas, you anti-vaxxer you.

Instead of 12 carefully selected guests around my tinsel table on Saturday, you whittled it down to five – just my safe family.

Hardly six months ago you sat around that same table telling fully jabbed me: “I’m not anti-vaxx. I just want to wait and see first…”

Well, your wait-and-see cost me my Christmas. All because you last week chose to hug my fairest Cape daughter up here for some special time with us Jozis.

I know, it’s hard not to hug if you haven’t seen her for six months, but at least kiss her cheek with a mask on, for vaxx’s sake.

We got word two days later that you’re “not feeling well and suspect it may be Covid. All the symptoms, you know…”

The game changer of that simple sentence? Us five isolate and let the other seven guests know “Christmas is cancelled”.

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Admittedly I was having a bit of an early Christmas because she was due to fly back the next day, hangover and all.

But you also clipped her wings, didn’t you, my anti-vaxxer?

You’re not even aware of the impact of your spitting laughter; maskless face; “my body is mine” stance and probably never will.

Your life revolves around one orifice that needs a bit of crumpled tinfoil, if I can have my way. My work insists on “tests”

“medical certificates” “sick or unpaid leave”. I choose to be an ostrich and follow my gut. I’m in a bubble.

You sure as hell touched our lives… And how I hoped it would rather be in the way my family has always loved our “Christmas is cancelled”.

See, I have another anti-vaxxer in my life. He who believes in The Illuminati but buys into the biggest bitcoin scam.

But long before Covid, when we had timely Christmas Eves, we set the tinsel table under a roof – and a hell of a storm broke loose.

He gave the wet table cloth one look, threw his arm across his forehead and said dramatically: “Christmas is cancelled.”

No, it wasn’t, dear Deon. Move the table six inches and put on a fresh table cloth: party on.

If only life was that simple nowadays. Or maybe it is. Get jabbed, for vaxx’s sake.