No favourites in this race…

This year it’s a double feature: our normal handicap, the ANC, is joined by a high stakes feature, Lockdown.

The going today will be soft, like the rand. Keeping to the restrictions, ANC and Lockdown are social distancing from any form of logic. We have a few comments and amendments to the field today, so please study your form guides. The favourite, I’m shocked Cyril, has just had extra weight added. So, teacher unions now join taxi associations on his back.

However, his jockey, Doctor Nosmokes, has been given permission to continue to use her whip on him. Additional weight has been added to The Keystone Cop, who has cigarettes on one flank and booze on the other. He is still running in blinkers and has been allowed to keep his gangster hat headgear.

There is a late entry in the form of South African Airways, ridden by Pravin Gordhan. Although the vets have declared SAA dead, its jockey says he will continue to flog it.

The EFF entry, White Monopoly Capital, has just been scratched because it saw the starting gates are white. Another late withdrawal is SA Business which, its trainer says, is on its last legs.

For more news your way, download The Citizen’s app for iOS and Android.