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LETTER: Strewth! Add metro cops, ATMs and Black Friday to nightmare list
Not even your nightmares are safe anymore...
Photo: iStock
Metro cops and Black Friday fall in the category of black cats and blood moons, writes Des du Triou.
Don’t drive on Black Friday
Don’t, my muse warned, go out on a blue moon, on halloween, or on leprechaun night. Never drive on Black Friday.
But no, there I am, cruising down Joe Slovo.
Out glides the Metro bat, finger crooked, pavement side.
Fullscale-size ticket book and extra large Bic pen.
Her smouldering eyes burn through my RayBans.
I hit anchors.
“License,” she rasps.
I realise I left it at the cat.
“Sorry, left it at home. I’ll bring it later. Do you take ATM cards?”
Even the street rats are laughing them lame, not buying a stitch.
She flips open the dreaded book, so forceful the wind blowback sends gutter plastics flying.
That giant pen prongs me in the short rib, skriks me skeef.
It’s the wife’s elbow, breaking my nightmare.
“Up and ready,” she chirps.
“It’s Black Friday, it’s koop-koop. Don’t forget your licence and ATM card.”
Strewth! Black cats, skewed hats and brooms… they can even read your dreams.
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Too easy.
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