Men need to end the lad culture

So soon after SA was on such a collective national high with the Bok Rugby World Cup win, it hurts to see images of people holding up placards saying: “I am not proud to be a citizen of the R.S.A.”

The protest placards refer to the “Republic of Sexual Abuse”, a concept by a local ad agency, Black River FC, to focus on the issue of gender-based violence and the role played by non-governmental organisations such as People Opposing Women Abuse.

Seeing those images hurts so much because we know that it is true: that our alter ego nation is one where rape and abuse, not rugby, are national sports.

The campaign’s gut-punch message needs to be seen and perhaps it is good that it is so graphic and even controversial (because it seems unpatriotic to some) – because people can’t go on paying lip service to this issue every year at this time, when the annual 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children rolls around.

There are millions of fine words written and spoken about changing our culture of violence – yet little appears to change.

Women and children are still the enemy in an undeclared war where men emphasise their own “king of the hill” status.

And don’t say “not all men”… because those men who are not abusers themselves need to do more to change the atmosphere where women and children are treated like second-class citizens.

These men need to call out others when they become abusive; they need to support women; they need to raise their sons to be different; and they need to end the lad culture, where humour is but a small step away from assault.

When you look at yourself in the mirror these 16 days, you should be truly repulsed by what you see.

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