Mboweni can take a leaf from this household’s book

The lovely Snapdragon and I will celebrate our second wedding anniversary on Monday.

After two years of married life, we should consider being mature and do mature things, she suggested. Which was only the preamble to one of the most immature, childish things she has ever dragged me into – we compiled a budget.

And that stupid document gave us some information which I can live without – it proved that we are poor people. I don’t need such negativity in my life.

I think Snapdragon had a suspicion that our rookie budget would produce bad news, because she used a red pen to scribble some figures into a school exercise book. “I wonder if Tito also used a red pen for the country’s budget?” I asked.

“We need more money,” she said. “That stuff doesn’t grow on trees, you know.”

“If that was true, why do banks have branches?” I asked.

“Don’t be a wise guy,” Snapdragon snapped.

“I think I’m a wise man,” I said.

“Maybe you should rather leave the thinking to me,” she replied.

It’s incredible to see the abrasive effect two years of married life can have on the respect a gorgeous woman has for the man of her dreams.

Anyway, we won’t go on an exotic spa weekend, thanks to all the red ink in the dreaded exercise book.

No, the mature and responsible new us will stay at home and enjoy marital bliss in our humble abode.

I hope government takes a leaf from our confounded book.

Based on my very limited and, according to Snapdragon, flawed grasp of financial matters, I get the impression that Tito was merely kicking the can down the road. Unlike the solid plans made around the Lotriet kitchen table.

I realise you have a tough job, Tito. There’s Eskom, a bloated civil service, expensive SOEs, corruption, state debt, Moody’s…

But things aren’t easy for the average South African family either. We wage war against school fees, food prices, fuel bills, the 15% VAT rate, an increased interest rate, hidden taxes…

At least I can look forward to a third year of that war known as marriage with the woman of my dreams. Which, I hope, will be much more fun than government’s outlook of fighting an election.

Dirk Lotriet. Picture: Alaister Russell

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