Lockdown Diaries: Are the Boks men or mousses?

When I have a couple of days off, I feel it is my duty to help She Who Must Be Obeyed around the house.

I can’t just loll around the house while she sweeps and dusts. It makes me feel guilty.

I usually get as far as deep-cleaning the bathroom and shower, by which time she has swept most of the house.

But I can cook, and even made bobotie this week. Truth be said, you can’t really go wrong if the instructions are on the packet – and I didn’t even burn the egg topping. It passed the She Who Must Be Obeyed taste test.

Seeking further inspiration, I dug out my copy of The Outdoor Cook Book of our Springbok Rugby Players, published in 2001 for the Chris Burger/Petro Jackson Players Fund.

It contains recipes from Boks and officials of the era and there are enough yummy dishes to soften even the toughest front-ranker’s heart.

Take prop Ollie le Roux, a man not to be trifled with. Ollie’s dessert is chocolate mousse, which might account for his 126kg fighting weight.

Ollie tripping around the kitchen making mousse … now there’s an image to conjure with.

It’s like the urban legend that Springbok “Enforcer” Bakkies Botha let his daughter paint his toenails pink.

Ref Tappe Henning is a contributor and I couldn’t help imagining Henning awarding a penalty against Bok great captain and eighthman Gary Teichmann, who is something of gourmet with his prawn and avo with dill dressing.

“I hope your orange mousse [they like mousse, these rugby men] turns to mush,” mutters Teichmann to Henning.

“Number eight,” shouts Henning, waving a yellow card, “you’re off!”

Naas Botha is a meat man with red wine and chilli rump and Mark Andrews goes for Leg of Lamb in Weber – not too taxing for a second-rower.

But imagine what it was like after training: “Hey, Joel [Stransky], don’t forget I want your gooseberry parfait recipe.”

But are these men or mousses, because Francois Pienaar also offers mousse – a delicate lime and gin creation.

He redeems himself, though, with his World Cup-winning oxtail ’n port potjie.

Me? I stuck to my World Famous Eley Oxtail. The meat was so soft it fell off the bone.

Hugh Eley.

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