Lobola is part of SA culture

The conversation that lobola must be scrapped as an ongoing practice seems to be gaining more and more traction in conversation with more and more people of my generation.

For me, this is symptomatic of two things: a nation that is slowly eroding its own cultural practices, whether they be good or bad, and a generation of men who believe that they should rather spend their hard-earned money on other things, a bride not being one of them.

Having been married off culturally and by civil law, I feel our generation needs to amend and question matters. By all means, question the pegging of amounts.

I agree that one cannot be charged an exorbitant amount because your child went to university. The degree she attained is hers and is not a shared asset.

Yes, it will help to increase the income of the household but in a divorce court, no magistrate will divide it in half as a shared asset.

That qualification is ultimately for her betterment, for her livelihood. It’s for personal gain. Families need to stop charging young suitors for educating their own children.

We then move to the argument that the practice is outdated. We cannot allow our traditions and practices to have a time stamp.

While it is true that we live in a global setting, being influenced by that should not necessarily mean we ought to be transformed until we can no longer recognise ourselves.

Though times may change and we need to adapt to the here and now, we cannot lose our cultural identity when it is what has made us so unique.

The newest trend seems to be the echoing of the sentiment by young women who believe their suitors will never be able to marry them because of an inability to afford lobola.

If he cannot save for his bride’s price, how will he put food on the table? Is he destined to commute using public transport all his life because money management, affordability and savings skills are not in his vocabulary?

If he cannot prove to his family that he can and will take care of his bride, he has no business even feeding false promises of a happily ever after.

Kekeletso Nakeli-Dhliwayo

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