Listen to the experts, and accept that you may be an idiot

I recently had to face the harsh possibility that I may be a complete and utter moron. It hit me as I was scrolling though some of my social media timelines and chatting to some friends.

The sheer amount of idiotic advice and hare-brained conspiracy theories, and the stubborn insistence by so many friends and acquaintances on continuing with their lives as if we weren’t facing a massive crisis, is what did it.

There was one of my friends from my hometown who still insists that black people are immune to Covid-19, and any evidence to the contrary is just part of a government conspiracy.

Then there’s the one in that WhatsApp group that I’m not allowed to leave, who believes that you can prevent the virus from taking root in your system by simply gargling with salt water daily and eating handfuls of raw garlic.

Don’t forget the one who insists that there isn’t really a virus doing the rounds, and Covid-19 is really just a ruse to get everyone vaccinated and thereby become part of a Illuminati mind control cult.

Or that the disease is simply the result of 5G connectivity being rolled out and cooking us alive. One even suggests that Greta Thunberg had the virus engineered in order to force people to reduce their carbon footprints!

These are all real theories out there, being thrown around by seemingly intelligent, educated adults of the human species.

Going by the principle that “birds of a feather flock together”, I came to the jarring realisation that I am a bloody idiot with an IQ only slightly higher than that of tree bark.

I mean, why else would I surround myself with so many stupid people if I didn’t have the intelligence of a sea sponge myself?

I spent the better part of the weekend preparing myself for the rest of my life as a stupid person.

I bought a pair of Crocs, practised saying “Donald Trump is the greatest leader the world has ever seen”, recited arguments suggesting that the ban on church gatherings was a violation of my freedom of religion, and downloaded all of Steve Hofmeyr’s albums.

Since I don’t have any real problems like crippling poverty or concerns about what I will eat for 21 days, I was on my way to a shelter to adopt a dog, so I could complain about not being able to take him for walks during the lockdown, when my wife brought me to my senses. She reminded me that my self-awareness is the most obvious sign that I am not really a half-wit.

See, stupid people are incapable of recognising when they don’t have a damn clue what they’re talking about, and insist on always telling those who do why they’re wrong.

This explains why people now place more value in the advice of a random idiot on YouTube or Twitter than in the warnings of the world’s leading epidemiologists and virologists.

They then feel confident enough to tell medical experts who have devoted decades of their lives to studying these phenomena how to do their jobs.

And of course those that choose to follow the advice of the real experts are “sheeple” who can’t think for themselves.

I somewhat understand what drives this. Everyone wants to feel special. As if they have or know something that others don’t.

This isn’t the time for that though, so maybe it’s time for some tough love.

Maybe it’s time for someone to tell you that you’re just a guy or girl with average or below-average intelligence with an internet connection, and what you think you know is a load of rubbish.

By spouting this nonsense, you are a danger to everyone around you, because some of them might even be dumber than you are and by following your nonsense they could put themselves and others’ lives at risk

Look, I understand the concerns regarding the powers the upcoming restrictions will give government.

As someone with a bit of an anarchist bent myself, I generally reject any rules or laws which I don’t consider to serve any purpose other than to serve the interest of certain privileged groups or the state.

This also isn’t the time for that debate though.

This is the time to follow the advice of collectivist anarchism founder, Mikhail Bakunin, when asked whether his rejection of authority was absolute.

He replied: “Does it follow that I reject all authority? Perish the thought. In the matter of boots, I defer to the authority of the boot-maker.”

In this case the boot-makers are the doctors, nurses, scientists and every other worker risking their lives to treat those with the virus, and find a cure for the disease.

Let’s defer to their authority and knowledge, try to limit the loss of life by staying indoors, and resist the urge to infect others with your stupidity.

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