Letting go of what wasn’t meant to be

Let’s just say my lover broke up with me and I didn’t have the guts to face the meeting he set up to tell me exactly that.

Call me a coward, but I’ve worked for nine years on a relationship I believed in; a passion unequalled to any I’ve known before.

So, when he hinted he was killing us off, I played chicken.

I didn’t pitch.

Yeah, probably unresolved childhood issues but I have major problems with taking no for an answer.

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I heard along the grapevine it was over. Not that I didn’t try: I’m a fighter. You say money is tight, I rejig a budget.

I hear a “but”, I problem-solve. There’s no mountain we can’t climb, baby…

But I learned even the apostle Doubting Thomas with his message of unconditional love is wrong: it’s a two-way street both have to buy into – and he’s not buying anymore.

He is cutting his losses. Losses, I ask? You don’t buy into a fabulous product like me?

Yes, we can trim down on the thighs, lift the boobs…

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But it’s never been about the looks, has it?

You just got tired and, as if you’re a businessman, looked at the bottom line.

Let me assure you, that sagging bottom line is as fabulous as the day you met me.

We just tweak the imperfections. Not that he’s an ogre, my boyfriend.

You’d love him if you meet him over a glass of red: eyes that look into your soul; lips that speak words you can’t but buy into.

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Swearing on cue and dressing down for my company braai; mingling freely with the plebs who all adore him.

So I’ve tried over the past month when I sensed things were going south: I nagged about the passion; the “trust me, it will work if we do this…”

I even nagged about, in Michael Jackson’s words, “But what about us” with my arms spread and shirt ripped wide open and the wind blowing through my locks.

But he missed my passion. He just never listened.

His mind was made up. So sometimes a girl just has to … let go. Sometimes you need to say: There goes a Man.

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But I can only say: a man walked past. Forgive me if I drown my sorrow in red tonight. If only he had the guts to live my passion…