Ladies, stop allowing strangers to buy you drinks at night clubs

Women put themselves in the line of fire, then shout for government to protect and serve when they get burned. Stop doing two things, ladies: having total strangers buying you drinks at night clubs and bars, and don’t go out if you cannot afford the bill at the end of the night.

For some men there is an expectation that a few glasses of Strawberry Lips and cheap champagne mean they are entitled to a meeting at your thighs, which we all know they are not.

We know that South Africa is littered with little boys in grown men’s undies – and this is no fault of any victim or would-be victim – but honestly speaking, if you cannot afford the night, do not tempt fate. Stay home and drink Oros while watching Generations!

For years, many men have said: “Stop accepting drinks from us if you are not going to pay us back in kind.”

With fading principles, questionable morality and the rise of casual sex, there has been an unspoken agreement that a couple of drinks accepted by a woman seals the deal to a roll in the sack.

Deplorable, I agree, but it is the new and unacceptable norm. Men have offered to pay for our drinks, we decline. Men have offered to drive us home, we decline. Men have offered to share a table with us at eateries, we still declined.

We do this not because we are prudes; not because we are closet lesbians … we do this because of three things: we left home knowing what our budgets for our drinks are; we left home knowing how we would get home; and, importantly, we left home knowing that not every man we encounter is a safe place.

The last place we should be looking for saints is at a drinking hole where clear thinking is shrouded by substance use. Expecting a stranger to safely get us home and ask for nothing in return, is one rainbow short of a unicorn show!

There is no excuse for men violating women. But perhaps a man should boldly say to a woman: “If I buy you these drinks, I have an expectation that you are coming back to my place.”

The woman can then accept or decline the offer. Men should communicate – and women should not assume every man is a gentleman.

Kekeletso Nakeli-Dhliwayo