Just be the woman you are

How does one pen this without being told that one is being overly sensitive about a repeated conversation? How does one say this without sounding like a broken record, without sounding like the victim who refuses to heal. Let me try. One word: Dove!

I grew up using Dove soap and their deodorant and have even considered using it for my son. But now, here we are, with a media campaign that was not well thought out and left Dove with egg on their faces, but also with people like me who were loyal customers for years and years questioning if our skin needs to go through “cleansing so we can come out whiter”.

Over the past week I have seen so many retweets of other adverts – mainly in print media – of beauty soaps that have over the years used the same analogy of being “washed white” to sell their products.

This, coupled with skin bleaching products, makes us think that being black or brown is not as beautiful as our mothers have told us! My mother drilled it into my head from an early age that I am and will always be beautiful, and I believe it, so much so that those very same values have spilled over to my handsome little man. We are just such beautiful people.

But what happens when you are one of those people who questions their beauty, with self-esteem that wasn’t nurtured throughout the years? What happens if you are not happy with your appearance and brands like Dove want you to wash your blackness away?

I say this because there exists an entire industry that rides on trying to make women believe that they could be more beautiful if they just used a specific product.

Our eyelashes are too short, our tummies too flabby, our cheeks not rosy enough and our thighs jiggle like jelly. As women, our imperfections are big business.

I don’t know what the intention was in the Dove advert, but their message is, it is not for all women. It’s for women they deem beautiful and I can assure you they do not think that the heavy black woman is one that is going to turn any heads.

Kekeletso Nakeli-Dhliwayo