Jacob Zuma spins a Christmas tale of note

’T was a few nights before Christmas when, all through South Africa, not a creature could have predicted that former president Jacob Zuma would announce that he is not voting or campaigning for the ANC in next year’s general election.

The ruling party’s stockings have been hung by the chimney with care, full of political infighting for a number of years now, in the hopes that St Cyril soon would be there to save the once-mighty liberation struggle.

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The organisation’s children still think they are nestled all snug in their expensive beds, thanks to multi-million rand tenders, while visions of unemployed youth, rolling blackouts and increasing cost-of-living rule.

When out on the lawn of Nkandla, there arose such a clatter as Mr Mshini Wami set the fat cat among the even fatter pigeons, telling his former colleagues he wants nothing to do with them, as he is exchanging his machine gun, for a spear of the nation.

Since the moon is not affected by load shedding, it gives a lustre of midday to objects that have been hidden for some time. Not only are ordinary citizens unhappy with the current leadership, but so are those who started the decay in the first place.

And what to our wondering eyes did appear but a saviour peddling Umkhonto weSizwe party as the answer to all of our problems.

Alas, shall we forget all about state capture, the arms deal and the Guptas, and blindly follow St JayZee?

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We knew in a moment that he must be St Jacob, Patron Saint of the forked tongue, on one side pledging his loyalty to the ANC, while on the other pleading that cadres not vote for the party he used to rule over.

More rapid than the blue-light brigade his former comrades came, swiftly highlighting in green, yellow and black, that uMkhonto weSizwe belongs to the ANC and that they would be taking legal action against the former statesman.

Now, Mbalula! Now, Mashatile! Now, Mokonyane! Now, Ramokgopa! To the top of the podium you go, telling us just how crazy it is for Zuma to be taking votes away from your beloved ANC.

Now dash away, planning how you are going to lick your wounds as your grip on South Africa dwindles away.