Jab can do with on-off switch nanobot

Some people seem to be obsessed with being everybody’s friend.

You know the type.

They tell you their life story, cry about a love lost decades ago and even describe all their ailments and illnesses in detail before you even know their name.

And they’re usually loud, too, making sure that all those within earshot hear everything. Travelling back from Cape
Town over the weekend, I had the misfortune of being seated next to one.

I had the aisle seat, she was in the middle and a young man was nestled in the corner next to the window, his back turned towards his fellow travellers.

The moment her seatbelt said “click”, she initiated a conversation. At first, she tried to engage both myself and the man in the corner. But he was armoured with earphones and wasn’t engaging.

That left me as her solitary target. Before the plane hit the runway, she demanded to know whether I had experienced any of the Covid symptoms.

Could I smell, was I breathing normally, had I been coughing… Somewhere during her interrogation/monologue, she offered me a sweet so that I could ensure my sense of taste had not been compromised.

I didn’t want to be rude, so I waited for her to take a breath before pulling my mask up to also cover my eyes.

But she wasn’t going to be fooled by me pretending to sleep.

Her next monologue was just slightly interrupted by the “ping” sound when the pilot turned off the seatbelt sign.

By the time we passed Kimberley, cruising at about 10 000m with a tailwind of around 120km/h, she took another breath.

I jumped at the opportunity to tell her that I had already received my first vaccine dose and that I was getting my second next week.

“Why didn’t you say so earlier,” she said.

“Here I was trying to persuade you to get a jab.”

If, by any chance, the vaccine does contain some sort of nanobot capable of switching people on and off, can we please have an option to get them switched off on demand?