It’s water under the fridge

English can be a bizarre language at times. Take the expression “water under the bridge”, for example. How meaningless is that?

A few years ago, a terrible stench developed in our kitchen and we simply couldn’t find the source. Until I stumbled upon a website on which the author explained that our model fridge has a design error – ice from the freezer drops into a bucket under the fridge, melts and later the water becomes a rotting, stinking mess.

We carried the fridge outside, tipped it over and hosed the bottom of the appliance off. And the smell was gone.

Today my doctor is going to have a close look at my injured knee – a very close, intrusive look which I have been dreading for the past week. It’s a painful procedure and there is a chance that there may be bad news waiting for me.

But this evening, that experience will be water under the fridge.

Then it will be the weekend, and this weekend I’m going to look after me.

Starting this afternoon, I’m going to do the usual things that people do when they pamper themselves: I’ll sleep, I’ll eat a steak … and more. It’s my weekend.

I’ll be kind to the lovely Snapdragon. We’ve had a few arguments lately, but that’s water under the fridge.

Admittedly I’ll probably tell her she’s a bit of a jerk, but that’s merely an act of kindness to help her to improve herself.

I’ve told Snapdragon and ouma not to spoil the three-year-old Egg, but that’s water under the fridge.

This weekend I’ll do exactly that. I’ll take her to the movies, allow her to eat too many sweets and turn a blind eye when she talks too loudly in the theatre.

I’ll read a book, I’ll tinker in the garage, I’ll play with my wristwatches, I’ll go to an auction and bid on carpets…

I will even kiss Snapdragon (maybe I should do this before I tell her she’s a jerk.)

I’ve had a difficult week, but those difficulties are … yes, water under the fridge.

I tend to use my weekends to try and make other people happy. Don’t ask me for a favour for the next two days.

It’s my weekend.

Dirk Lotriet. Picture: Alaister Russell

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