It’s high time we’re able to tell our clit from our elbow

My sister was stepping over the old family dog, Monty, who was sprawled in a large dog-puddle.

“Be careful of his willy,” I said, as her foot came down perilously close to his crown jewels.

“Jennie!” shrieked my sister, who has special needs. “Don’t be rude!”

“Well, what else am I meant to call it?” I said. “It’s not rude. It’s part of his body, and you nearly stepped on it.”

She gave me a shrewd look, cleared her throat and then confidently stated, “Boys have a willy… and girls have a penis.”

Oh dear. I explained that, no, girls have a vulva – that’s the bit we can see. The vulva is where the opening to the vagina is. Boys have a willy, or penis.

“Got it?” I said. “Girls have a vana,” repeated my sister, splicing together vagina and vulva into a neat new word, one she then announced to the surprise of my friends when they visited, with helpful pointing for added clarity.

I remembered this incident when I read about recent research from Cambridge University in which people were asked to label female genitalia in their own words.

It seems my sister is not the only one getting it wrong. While the survey left wriggle room when it came to terminology – for instance, peehole and bumhole were acceptable – still only 9% could correctly identify all the components of the female anatomy.

Women were not exactly better at knowing their own bodies either: yes, they were more likely to identify the anus and vaginal opening, but after that they were as at sea as men.

About half of those surveyed could locate the urethra – or peehole – but a mere 37% could point out the clitoris, despite it being the primary female sexual pleasure organ.

A mere 46% identified all three female holes correctly.

Yes, there are three.

In fact, female genitals are made up of seven parts: the vulva includes the labia majora, labia minora, clitoris, urethral opening and vaginal opening, then there’s the perineum and anus.

No, it’s not rude. It’s basic biology. And it’s high time we confidently named and reclaimed these intimate parts of being a girl, of empowered womanhood, because ignorance breeds shame, loathing and disgust.

All together now: “Vana.”