It was the heist before Xmas…

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not riot
I’ll tell you why
ANC is coming to town

And they’re bringing armfuls of gifts – well, all except electricity, that is – to persuade you to vote for them next year.

If you didn’t have to cut up your Christmas tree for wood for your braai fire (because of load shedding), you would find wonderful presents at its foot.

ALSO READ: Here’s why you may pay more for eggs and chicken this Christmas

Things like having your Eskom debt dematerialised (at least if you live in certain townships, according to Panyaza Lesufi); you’ll get a chance to get a job, thanks to the Unemployment Fund’s generous minister, Thulas “Firepool” Nxesi (eligibility criteria – see above) … or the minister of blackouts could switch on a Chinese-supplied generator at your local school.

Rest assured, Mbaks says, all this largesse has nothing to do with the 2024 polls – it’s all about your favourite party making a better life for all.

Then all the voters loved them
as they shouted out with glee,
Our ANC, the red-leaning party,
you’ll go down in history!

*Some taxpayers were harmed in the making of this little parody.

ALSO READ: ANC ‘wasting time, resources and the nation’s breath’ with ConCourt application