It surprises me that married politicians get away acting like idiots

Husbands soon catch on that their wives possess a fine-tuned intellect – and, I believe, a seventh sense.

That’s why it surprises me married politicians get away acting like idiots. Do their wives not pull them up and show them the way to go, especially when it concerns the public they should be serving?

At one time I was chair of a branch of a political party. Not for long. My Heidi stepped in and, thankfully, I embarked on a career giving me great satisfaction and one in which money didn’t play a role. Journalism.

Take the sofa debacle. What did Cyril’s wife make of it? Did she go off pop and accuse him of being more than stupid? In my case, each time Heidi finds coins, toffee and Grandpa Powder wrappers and split toothpicks stuck behind my Lazy Boy, she throws a wobbly.

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Imagine what the sport minister’s spouse said when hearing he was planning to build a giant flag pole costing R22 million. Surely dumber you can’t get? How could she explain his action to her friends over high tea? It’s noticeable he hasn’t said a word about anything since he was ridiculed in parliament. His wife’s input surely helped seal his lips.

What of poor old Jacob Zuma? More than one wife to face. With their collective intellect they must be left dumbfounded. They probably give him a hard time every time he packs for Pietermaritzburg. But in his case, they probably accept that he’s forced to do so. To stay out of prison for starters. He probably finds the outing sweet relief after facing combined concubine castigations.

The police chief, too, prefers facing the mobs than staying home being verbally lashed for his insensitive utterings about the mine dump rape incident. If Heidi’s response is anything to go by, the chief’s wife must’ve suffered apoplexy.

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I never dreamt I’d ever say it’s time for more women to enter politics. Like a Thuli Madonsela among them. At last, a real “honourable member” to show up the dishonourable street fighters. And just to witness the trade union fat cat bosses shake in their Italian shoes, will make the appointment worthwhile.

In any case, there’s no way she would lay herself bare to the dumb, half-witted and brainless actions performed by her male contemporaries.