I get it, Dr Nandipha – I also fell in love with a killer

I would do anything for love, but I wouldn’t do that, Dr Nandipha Magudumana. The Thabo Bester case has given me a whiplash of déjà vu.

Not so long ago, I found myself in a similar boat as the celebrity doctor – not behind bars facing criminal charges, but rather lost in love. Many people know my story as the smart woman who made a stupid mistake.

When I started following the case of Bester’s escape with his lover, I could not help but reflect on my experience of dating a criminal behind bars.

I immediately recognised the criticism she got when members of the public questioned how a successful celebrity doctor could have fallen in love with one of SA’s most hardened criminals and give up her whole life for him.

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Out of personal experience, I can confirm it also happened to me accidentally. No-one wakes up one morning deciding to date a killer. I certainly didn’t. I had to learn the hard way a prison situation was not only taboo, but perhaps “they” were right: love is blind.

Many were relieved when the spark between me and the killer eventually fizzled out and the relationship ended – as many people predicted. “We told you so,” they said.

To be honest, a part of me knew it was simply a fascination or obsession with the mind of a killer and life in prison that went way too far.

Today, I feel lucky that my relationship did not go as far as the SA version of Prison Break. It must have been my love for crime reporting and the unique opportunity to have a frontrow seat in court to the story of the murderer that kept me intrigued and hooked.

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If the world only knew what went on behind those tall walls and spiky fences. It was a completely different world. Visiting the prison was also one of my favourite parts of the relationship.

Besides the neglected infrastructure and goslow service, something was exciting about visiting an inmate. Entering a prison with thousands of dangerous criminals was both scary and exhilarating, with a dash of drama concealed into one experience.

What I found most disturbing – and beautiful at the same time – was the visitors to these criminals we get to read about in the newspapers. Every Sunday, I watched women in church clothes visiting incarcerated husbands, elderly ladies visiting their paedophile sons and young mothers bringing their children to see their fathers behind bars.

This was eye-opening and heartwarming to experience. I spoke to many of these visitors while we waited for hours to visit our convicts.

I also had the opportunity to meet many convicted criminals you read about in the newspapers who open-heartedly told me about their rap sheets and life in prison. Many offenders were comfortable giving me their stories because they knew me from visiting my then-lover.

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I have met convicted criminals such as gangster Lindray Khakhu, the terrorist twin brothers Brandon-Lee and Tony-Lee Thulsie and even the Springs monster.

Maybe it is just me, but I would love to meet Bester and look him in the eyes. There are so many questions I want to ask him: how, why, where?

If I ever had the opportunity to interview Bester, I would like to ask him the most burning question: did you really think you would get away with it?