How is state healthcare doing now, Mkhize?

Remember me, Health Minister Zweli Mkhize? The doomsayer of your new National Health Insurance plan? I understand why you didn’t get back to me, running around with the coronavirus pandemic and all.

But would you believe it affected me, as a state health patient, too? So I thought I’d share my experience with you. Call it a learning curve – for you and me.

You seem so in charge on TV: this is the plan; these are the symptoms; don’t panic.

But I had unanswered questions. What is the hotline number? Does it even work? Where do I get tested? And have you upped the hygiene and access control at the Charlotte Maxeke Hospital in Johannesburg?

Thank God for the media, that same media vilified for feeding the Covid-19 panic. I got my answers.

And I needed that seeing I started with the shivers on Friday night, writing it off as climate change. But when I woke up on Sunday still drenched with body aches, an extra cough and a chest that’s heaving, I remember you saying these are the symptoms for the dreaded virus – and I followed your advice: I self-isolated.

What followed on Monday was a comedy of errors – not that you or I should be laughing. I needed to be tested for Covid-19. And no, I decided not to go to a Johannesburg hospital and infect a mass of humanity not using any sanitizer – I phoned my doctor.

He sent me a screenshot of the right form and I was signed and sealed for the test.

So I phoned your hotline. “You are number 378 in line and you’re waiting time is 76 minutes”. I hung up, found a contact at a Johannesburg hospital for disease control and fired off an e-mail. Unanswered. Another is sent to the National Health Laboratory Services, explaining I’m a state patient who can’t afford the private R1,400 (now R990) Covid-19 test, don’t want to infect others, so where do I go? Surprise, surprise – and here you score brownie points – I get a response within an hour telling me to… phone the hotline. I can only sigh.

But then, I get a call from a number I tried earlier from the same institution. I explain my dilemma and ask for the nearest testing station. My heart is soaring; my hopes are high: you are going to come through.

If only. “No, you must phone the hotline.” “But I’m number 378…” “Doesn’t matter. Hold on. It won’t cost you a cent in airtime. They will come to you to test you.”

So I phone 0800-029-999 for the 14th time. And I hold on. A full 14 minutes. And… you cut me off. Try again. I hear how busy the operators are and an expert on the coronavirus for a full 14 minutes – and you cut me off again.

I check my airtime balance: it didn’t cost me a cent. Kudos to you. And being a firm believer in third-time lucky – as you taught me with state hospitals – I try again. It seems 14 minutes stays the cut-off time.

It’s now 4pm and I’m running out of the day. So I throw caution to the wind, get into my car, scrape together the thousand and something for a private test and find an isolation lab within 10 minutes: no queue; I’m sprayed; some swab is pushed down my throat and I get a free face mask to replace the soaked scarf on my face.

I’ll have my test results today, no thanks to you, Minister Mkhize.

Me of little faith. Prove to me that state healthcare is working, including your proposed plan…

Over to you.

Carine Hartman.

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