Home, sweet home office

So, you thought working from home was going to be fun, right?

You thought you’d sleep in every morning because you’re saving so much time not commuting to the office.

And you’d have breakfast in bed every morning and make sweatpants your new work attire. Some of you even reckoned you’d make the bed the head office and the desk a satellite office for your partner – just to ensure social distancing in the home.

As an added bonus you could sneak off to the movies every now and then because who knows how long it will be before they are also forced to shut their doors.

And then came all the advice.

Social media was suddenly a handbook on working from home, with great advice, like dressing to feel the part and keeping your back to the fridge and taking timed tea breaks.

Well, little did you know that there’s also an instruction manual for employers who are dealing with their teams working from home.

Remember day one, when the boss made a video call first thing in the morning – thirty seconds after you told her you were already busy writing a proposal? You were still in your pjs and your hair looked like Boris Johnson’s on a good day.

You made a valiant attempt, but sorry, you didn’t get away with it. Fortunately, she recorded the video call. Expect to become a Tik Tok sensation soon.

And on day three, when in a second video call she asked what smelled so nice? Just because she can see you, doesn’t mean she can actually smell your house. Isn’t it amazing how panic influences one’s reactions?

Go ahead. Blush. You didn’t just “throw something in a pot” to feed the kids. The mountain of dishes behind you told a very detailed story of someone baking at least three dozen assorted cup cakes while you were apparently “dissecting sales figures”.

As for the movies? Well, don’t forget that your company phone has a “find me” function. The boss didn’t, and she did. Find you.

So, a word of advice: working from home? Then work. At home.

Danie Toerien.

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