Happiness is an angry lioness and ‘hakuna matata’

I went to the movies with the lovely Snapdragon and the three-year old Egg last weekend.

We watched Lion King, and although the movie didn’t leave me any wiser about the wonderful animals of this great continent, it taught me a lot about the most interesting animal of all – Homo sapiens.

“I am going with my pappa,” she told Snapdragon. “You can’t go – you only like k@k movies.” Despite our best efforts to sanitise her vocabulary, she is still a potty mouth. Which proves that Homo sapiens is a selfish breed.

We arrived for the 3pm show, and all the tickets were sold out, so we had to book for later. Egg cried a lot and threw a tantrum, because Homo sapiens believes in instant gratification.

It is also a species who has no natural consideration for others. When we eventually settled in our seats, she remained her loud self.

“When is Lion King starting, I don’t like these short movies,” she complained when they showcased the coming attractions.

When Mufasa finally appeared, she couldn’t contain her excitement. “I’m a lion too – look at my mane!” she screamed and emptied her box of popcorn over her head. A man in the row behind us leant over. “Can you please keep her quiet?”

And then the kind Snapdragon turned into the Lion Queen.

“How old are you? You are trying to watch a children’s movie and you are surprised to see children here? How stupid are you?” she told the man, who retreated to his seat immediately. Sometimes humankind is not kind at all.

As could be seen clearly in the behaviour of Egg, who was crawling on all fours in the passage between the seats, growling fiercely and looking as intimidating as only a three-year-old with a popcorn box on her head can.

And then it was over. “It’s the best movie I have seen in my entire life!” Egg declared.

I was quiet. Maybe Snapdragon was wrong. Maybe Lion King is not a children’s movie.

Maybe it’s made for middle-aged men to appreciate the wonders of fatherhood. Charles Schulz, the creator of the Peanuts comic strips, said happiness is a puppy.

I disagree.

Happiness is holding a little girl with a hakuna matata T-shirt and having an angry lioness by your side.

Dirk Lotriet. Picture: Alaister Russell

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