Food, wine and vows: Gurudwara sets tone for wedding

It’s less than three weeks to The Wedding – my wedding, our wedding. However, that’s not all I think about, except at 3am when I wake up in a panic.

On Saturday, I met up with some friends. One of them said she was going to the Gurudwara for lunch. Guru what, I asked?

I guess the clue was in the “guru” part.

Experiencing Gurudwara

So, we joined her at the Gurudwara – the local Sikh temple – where we had free lunch.

Anyone and everyone was welcome, from extended families to the homeless. They feed folk every day, no questions asked.

The only rule was that all who came must be barefoot and cover their heads, so they had a basket of doekies for that purpose.

We sat cross-legged on long carpet runners and waited.

‘Food is not taken, it’s given’

After a while, someone drifted in, nodded a greeting, and placed metal trays and spoons in front of us.

Then other people ladled yoghurt, dahl, pickle, and salad into our tray compartments. A woman appeared with a basket of hot flatbreads and handed them out.

All were volunteers.

When we’d eaten our fill, they offered us more. They kept offering. I might still be there if they’d had a wine list…

“The food is not taken,” explained my friend. “It is given.”

And I felt renewed, at peace.

Then I came home and started looking at the dietary requirements for our wedding reception.

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Food for everyone

Obviously, we don’t want any of our guests going hungry or, worse, going into anaphylactic shock, so we asked people to stipulate food issues.

We have vegetarians, pescatarians (me!), shellfish allergies, and one serious eating disorder requiring only salad leaves or boiled vegetables, if that.

But then:

• Someone is toying with vegetarianism but still eats meat if they fancy it;
• someone hates potatoes;
• Someone dislikes tomatoes;
• Someone declares they’re allergic – allergic, really? – to avocados, mushrooms and all Indian food (so I won’t be taking them to the Gurudwara).

Happily, our venue will cater for all, so no one will be long-faced.

Still, I think about how far we – first world westerners – have come from food as a necessity, as a communal, sharing event, as something to be grateful for, however simple or meagre.

And I vow to change my ways.

After The Wedding.

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