Gift me, purrrrty please

Believe it or not, but Black Friday is around the corner. Again. While I am not big on splurging on gifts just because it’s that time of year, I know there are many people out there who just can’t help themselves.

And, come Friday, November 23, they will all be standing to attention, hands on their hearts and teary-eyed when the first cash register chimes ka-ching just after midnight. Yes, some shops will really be opening then to ensure they get to trade for literally the entire day.

If you’re one of those suckers who’s been duped into believing that it really is better to give than to receive, remember my name. I have a few cats and they have made a wish list which – with your help – we can make short work of.

First on the list is a pair of shoes. Size 9. Male. Seeing that it is a gift, which should not be looked in the mouth, I obviously can’t be too prescriptive, but brown leather, preferably from Louis Vuitton, would do the trick – if it was for me, of course, which it isn’t.

I’m not really sure, but I suspect that the cats are planning a surprise concert for Christmas Eve. I can only assume we are in for quite a performance of Puss in Boots.

Next up is a case of champagne. It would, after all, go down very well over the festive season. And note the word champagne. They obviously aren’t talking about some cheap imitation fizzy drink sold in an oversized beer bottle.

Something that starts with Chateaux perhaps? But enough said, Mum’s the word. I wonder, is it coincidence that chat is the French word for cat? Mmm?

Seeing that the kitties just love a bowl of warm milk before bedtime, I’m not surprised a new microwave is on the list. And you know what they say about appliances: bigger is always better.

The one thing I do know about my cats is that when it comes to gifts, they are very similar to toddlers. I have spent a fortune on gifts for toddlers, only to watch them have endless fun with an empty box that once contained an expensive toy.

Shoes, champagne and appliances still do come in boxes, right?

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