The issue of GBV is destroying lives

Gender abuse somehow always finds itself in the spotlight – leaving us blinded by disbelief, shock or wonder.

Ultimately we are left divided in three groups – those who believe the victim, with little to no evidence outside of the allegation; those who stand with the accused, because there is likewise little to no independent evidence; and those who are unbothered because, ultimately, these are matters “between two people”.

Abuse of any nature is a serious allegation, we cannot downplay it, regardless of the media platform it was raised in.

That it concerns a personality in the public arena whose relationship has failed, or the ordinary person whose husband has turned her life into a living nightmare, this should have no bearing.

The fact of the matter is that abuse is an act of violence of one against another.

We must reject that the severity of the allegations is not nullified because these are people in the media, or that there are sectors of our population who want to make jest of the situation, or that there are those who question
the motives of the complainants because of the platforms used.

Such considerations speak of the emptiness of our society.

Should we not question ourselves as people when such allegations surface during the 16 days of activism against gender-based violence (GBV)? Yet we are more inclined to ask “why now?” Or to say, “it’s a motive against successful men of colour”.

While the court of public opinion is not enough to go on – because these are the lives and, in most cases, the livelihoods of those that stand accused – still, men such as Sjava, Katlego Maboe and now Molemo “Jub Jub”
Maarohanye – were, or do, stand accused.

If we do not stand in the corner of the victims, who will? Surely this is a process that requires emotional support for someone who comes out to speak “their truth”?

Furthermore, who stands in the corner of the men who are accused, then tried in the court of public opinion, then found innocent?

The issue is not one-sided – this is important to remember. Lives are affected in many ways.