Feelgood stories for a braai

Want to end a braai or dinnertable discussion about the levels of crime in South Africa? Ask if anyone is unhappy with their bank.

In any gathering of six or more individuals, you’ll probably get a customer of one of the Big Four banks complaining about something.

And then: Anyone had a bad experience with a builder/electrician/plumber? Just watch as the horror stories get worse and worse as people begin recounting their anecdotes.

About 15 years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were building their dream house in Cornwall Hill, outside Pretoria.

Their builder absconded with about R250 000 of their money, leaving their double-storey house only as far as the floor level of the upper storey.

When they brought in another contractor, his news was chilling.

The first builder had not put in any proper foundations. In that suburb, because it is in a dolomitic area, some houses require strong piling foundations.

If they had continued to build on the first man’s work, their house would have collapsed.

Years ago, after we moved to Joburg, we converted the existing single-car garage on our small house into a spare room/study and then added a double garage.

Our builder, Frank, was a personable fellow and we trusted him to do the job.

Before laying the floor of the new garage, Frank and his team should have dug up the main water pipe and encased it in four inches of concrete, as per municipal regulations.

When I came home from work that day, the concrete for the floor had already been thrown.

Frank smilingly assured us that the process had been inspected and approved by a municipal inspector.

All in one day? It didn’t occur to me at the time that this was impossible … Later, we recommended him for work at my sister’s place, extending their patio.

Result? Cracked and sagged tiles because the base wasn’t prepared properly. We’ve had others.

Willie’s paintwork on a carport didn’t have a proper undercoat, as we discovered after a year or two; the people who did the study didn’t do the ceiling properly; the new gutters still overflow in the rain; a plumber claimed we needed a whole new drain while Roto Rooter cleared the blockage in an hour … I’ve lost count of the number of times we’ve called and they haven’t pitched or bothered to let us know why.

So call me gobsmacked by an amazing good run with people this year.

First there was Joe, the electrician, who installed and wired up a generator in a couple of hours, and charged much less than we thought.

Then came old Samuel, the painter, who spent a week repainting the carports. I bought the wrong paint – black instead of white – but he did a thorough job. Next up was Marius, who supervised the rebuilding of our kitchen (a word to husbands out there: never stand between a woman and her new kitchen…)

Everything was done quickly, and correctly, and Marius gave us plenty of useful advice.

Finally, when a hot-water pipe burst last week, reliable plumber Mark was on scene to sort it out – new insulated pipes and all – within two hours.

Amazing. I won’t have any horror stories to tell any more … and these tales of success will certainly find an audience.

Citizen acting deputy editor Brendan Seery.