Eskom’s accounting exemption is as corrupt as it gets

Most probably like you, I would like to think that I am a law-abiding citizen with a reputation for being a pretty decent person.

I pay my taxes, I drive at 129km/h (the extra nine is for safe overtaking purposes) on the highway and I was even one of three South Africans whose e-tolls account was up-to-date.

But, due to the level of corruption, I might be convinced to also dabble in the underworld. In my wildest dreams as a badass criminal, I would make it difficult for the authorities to catch me.

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Firstly, I would be one of those women who buy other ladies’ dreadlocks, so that when the cops sweep one of my crime scenes, they would find someone else’s DNA. Absolute genius.

Secondly, I would use another simple but effective trick: way too much make-up. Those who frequent dimly lit clubs and other establishments know that the ladies who go to these places look completely different the next day, without contoured eyebrows, bold eyelashes, porous skin and no powder on the neck. Imagine how many crimes I will be able to get away with?

Now we know what Clark Kent was doing in all those phone booths when he transformed into Superman: lots of foundation, lip liner and concealer.

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But why would I go to all that trouble in concealing my corrupt ways if there is an even easier way: follow our leaders and make my corrupt ways legal.

I am no fiduciary expert or anything, but even I know that National Treasury granting Eskom an exemption from disclosing any irregular, fruitless and wasteful expenditure is as corrupt as it gets.

This effectively means the Eskom board can do whatever they want without having to be accountable to South Africans. Imagine reading the next Eskom financial report and seeing that millions were spent on dreadlocks for the board members’ wives?

What if crates of Portia M products popped up on the balance sheet, but we were not seeing an improvement in the wives’ skin condition? Can we not say a darn thing? Shem, at least they will be buying local, as it is lekker.

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It seems like we are getting to a point where the norm is to legalise corruption, crime and other former clandestine activities, so why would the ordinary South African not follow suit and blatantly be corrupt as well?