Egg is a strange little girl

This weekend I realised that the five-year-old Egg is growing up much too quickly.

On Saturday, we went to Pretoria to watch her big brother compete in a road race. She couldn’t keep her eyes off a
woman’s Rottweiler. Egg owns a little miniature pinscher.

“I’ve got a dog like this too,” she told the lady.

“Mine will become as big as this one. All miniature pinschers grow this big.”

“Is it your daughter?” the woman asked. “She’s a cookie cutter copy of you.”

“Yes,” I said.

“She’s my daughter. This athlete coming in now is my son.”

“Ohhh,” said the woman.

“He’s handsome.”

I don’t like it when people say he’s handsome. He looks just like his mother. They should say Egg is pretty, because she looks like me.

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But they always say “That Egg is a strange little girl…” On Monday afternoon, Egg and I went to a polling station.

“Who are you going to vote for?” the IEC official asked her.

“Probably Santa,” Egg told her.

“But I’m not voting for Zuma.”

“She’s a strange little girl,” the woman said.

“And pretty?” I asked.

The woman didn’t reply. Inside, another official marked our thumbnails, I collected my ballot papers and after voting, Egg popped them into the rather empty box.

I’ve been wondering what to get her for Christmas.

“Speaking of Santa,” I said. “What kind of games do you and your friends play?”

“We play coronavirus,” she told me.

“One of us is the coronavirus who chases the others around and try to infect them.”

“I don’t think I should get you Covid for Christmas,” I said.

“Your mom won’t appreciate it.”

“I wrote a letter to Santa,” she told me.

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“Ouma helped me. On paper. Ouma is old-fashioned, she doesn’t know Santa uses e-mail.”

“We can write a new letter on my computer,” I said.

And that is what we did. She told me about the toys she wanted Santa to bring her.

“I want a Hatchimal,” she told me. “And a Rescue Runt and Scruff-a-Luvs.”

The Snapdragon was reading downstairs.

“Do you know what a Hatchimal is?” I asked her.

“And a Rescue Runt and Scruff-a-Luvs?”

“Yes?” she replied. I have never felt so old. That Egg is a strange little girl…