Egg has all the answers

“Those look terrible! At night, when mommy thinks I’m sleeping, I look at kittens on her phone and she sneakily eats peanut butter right out of the jar with a teaspoon. I want a kitten like the one on mommy’s peanut butter jar.”

The lovely Snapdragon turned around and stared at the mirror over her shoulder. “Does all the lockdown peanut butter make my backside look fat?” she asked.

“I know it’s a sensitive term, but your backside looks fine. But I think you should change peanut butter brands until they use cats of all colours on the bottle,” I suggested.

“Do you say I’m fat?” Snapdragon wanted to know. “And my hair? Do I have normal hair? You don’t. Yours are grey and thin and…” “I don’t want to answer,” I said. “I think all women have normal hair,” the eternal feminist in her said. “Even that little patch of hair some women have?” I asked. “What’s it called again?” “A landing strip?” Snapdragon suggested.

“No, a moustache,” I suddenly remembered. Egg interrupted again. “What’s a kitten’s favourite colour? Purrrple!” “Not that fat cat Julius,” I said. “That’s one of the problems we have. We’re too concerned about black and white, while our biggest challenge is green like the UIF money and Covid relief billions and tax that disappeared.”

“Maybe things will be better if politicians stand behind private business to create jobs and to get the economy going again,” Snapdragon said thoughtfully.

“Look at Julius: we fight corruption, we have a dysfunctional health system, millions go to bed hungry, but he throws tantrums about Clicks and H&M… Maybe he should support private business more.” “Like he did with VBS Bank?” I wanted to know. “We should all just love one another,” said Egg with the wisdom only a four-year-old can have.

“If everyone just fights less and shares their cookies and loves kittens, life will be perfect. Do you get it? Purrrfect!”

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