Don’t let your six pack abs blind you to others’ emotional battles

When I am happy, I eat. When I am sad, I eat. Basically, no situation is too big or too small to affect my appetite.

The above doesn’t help because preparing healthy meals can be so time consuming. Often the ingredients are far from one’s reach, making room to eat shisanyama, kota (bunny chow) or any fast food.

So, seven months into the lockdown, I’m not surprised that I have gained some weight. I’m just glad that I still fit in my clothes so far. However, I may no longer fit in my clothes if this trend continues for the next two or three weeks. Quite frankly, the physical appearance is the least of my worries at the moment.

I’m in no way suggesting that I should be underweight or overweight. But there are other parts of my life that equally need attention.

Before lockdown, I used to go to the gym regularly. I was trying to shed a few kilos and to also be physically fit. But that didn’t go far, all thanks to the lockdown.

On the contrary, there is progress in my mental wellness and spiritual health. I no longer have any flashbacks regarding anything that has to do with the traumatic experiences I encountered in the past.

For the first time in more than two years, I look forward to attending a church service. This means the depression I have is being well managed.

As we focus on mental illness awareness this week, may people realise that different people are dealing with different issues at different times. For me, during the past three years the most important thing has been the wellness of my mental health.

Unlike weight gain or weight loss, nobody can tell if I have offloaded any psychological burden I have been carrying or if I have added to the load I had. Because none of the emotional or psychological issues are tangible.

In a perfect world, we would all like to be physically fit, emotionally healthy, mentally strong and spiritually flourishing. Sadly, that is not always the case. It is almost impossible to find a balance to our overall good health. If the soul and spirit are healthy, often the mind is facing challenges and vice versa.

So, I would really appreciate it if people stop reminding us – those with some mkhabanyana (pot-belly), waist handles, touching thighs and more – about the changes in our bodies.

We are aware of all the changes in our bodies. Kudos to those who were able to win the mental health battles, physical health war, emotional Armageddon and the WWE Raw of spirituality.

Being either underweight or overweight isn’t ideal.

Nevertheless, perhaps the intangible victories on winnings against anxiety attacks, the victories against PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), severe depression and suicide are all that matters than having a six-pack, full chest and mapped out thighs.

And, I hope that you are emotionally and mentally healthy, wena self appointed minister of being overweight and fat. We have our own mental health issues to deal with.

To all of you, may we have an awareness filled World Mental Health Awareness Week.

As for me, I shall continue to eat food, no matter what. It covers my emotional wellbeing.

Kabelo Chabalala.

Kabelo Chabalala is the founder and chairperson of the Young Men Movement (YMM), an organisation that focuses on the reconstruction of the socialisation of boys to create a new cohort of men. Email, kabelo03chabalala@gmail.com ; Twitter, @KabeloJay; Facebook,Kabelo Chabalala

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