Comedy of errors from NDZ, council

You’d think the National Coronavirus Command Council (NCCC) would have learnt from its past howlers, but this week Cooperative Governance Minister Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma was back to her bizarre best when she tucked into new restrictions for beaches.

With the exception of Northern Cape beaches, people are not allowed to frolic or walk on our coastlines under the adjusted level 3 lockdown.

President Cyril Ramaphosa made sure of that with his announcement shortly after Christmas due to soaring Covid-19 infections.

The main aim was to avoid mass gatherings, and beaches certainly attract hundreds of people daily, never mind holiday season.

The president extended those regulations this week as numbers continue to surge. Fair enough.

Up steps Dlamini-Zuma on Tuesday and she reveals “the definition of a beach” under the new regulations.

She said a beach is now defined as “the sandy, pebbly or rocky shore between the high-water mark and low-water mark adjacent to the sea; an estuary mouth extending 1,000m inland from the mouth; and within 100m of the high-water mark, excluding private property, including the sea and estuary themselves adjacent to the beach”.

In short, stay more than 100m away from the beach, finish and klaar.

Last year, the command council certainly came up with some gems.

From banning the sale of open-toed shoes and short-sleeved shirts, to not allowing the sale of cooked chickens and pies in shops, it had the world laughing at us.

Although it insisted it made the regulations based on research, there was none to be found, and it had to backtrack down the line.

Former tourism minister Derek Hanekom was fuming, saying: “This [redefinition of what constitutes a beach] is crazy beyond belief! Cyril Ramaphosa, please intervene.

“Hundreds of restaurants fall into this category. And walking trails. And pavements, for that matter.”

If booze wasn’t banned, you’d think the command council were coming up with some of these suggestions during a drinking game.

What’s next? Only being allowed to drive on the right-hand side of the road, when it is overcast for the months with 28 days or more?

Come on, NDZ and company, have a serious think about the implications these ludicrous regulations will have on the public before you speak.

It would save a lot of embarrassment.

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