Christmas shows we have lost the spirit of family

The spirit of Christmas has come and gone… we endured the shopping mall Christmas music, we scaled through the Christmas specials – but it is finally over.

Now, we go into back-to-school mode …

But the spirit of Christmas is special: that time that makes one long for family because we understood that no matter the differences throughout the year, the festive season gives us an opportunity to rekindle our kinship.

But we have lost the spirit of family … and no season makes it more evident.

How many families had to endure a Christmas of separation because one partner was buried or another is in a prison cell to account for his or her deeds?

The relationships and marriages of today have become prisons of four walls.

South Africa is dealing with femicide and infidelity, and substance abuse and irresponsibility in parental expectations lead to frustrated men and women – and in so doing, the battleground is set.

Marital rape, forced submission, women held in subjection using culture and even scripture – these are all elements used by weak men; men who insist their ways are right through deviant action.

Christmas, in a way, has been stolen by family violence.

Some children and families never experience the love some of us did over the festive period.

There is the ever-annoying conversation of parents who are estranged from their children because their children are a constant reminder of responsibilities they refuse to be held accountable for.

How can fathers and mothers callously fail to take responsibility for their children?

How can you salute the heroes of yesteryear for championing our rights but, in turn, desert your children?

As parents, we are failing the generations that will follow us.

How free are these children who have become the new migrant workers to fill the gap of parents who can’t provide?

May we do better for our families, because nothing makes the breakdown of the modern family more visible than Christmas.

Kekeletso Nakeli-Dhliwayo.

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