Breaking the silence: Women must report GBV

As South Africa wraps up the awareness campaigns associated with the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence against Women and Children, the abuse of women continues unabated.

One may wonder why I decided to write about this topic while a lot has been written about it since last month. as the country tries to sensitise the public about the issues relating to gender-based violence (GBV).

Well, the reason is that this week I witnessed a peculiar GBV incident in which a senior female police officer was badly assaulted by her partner, who also threatened to shoot her in the head.

When the squabble between the two started I was indoors, watching movies.

I heard her screaming, saying: “Don’t kill me, let me explain …. let me tell you what happened.”

And the voice of a man could be heard saying: “Today I am going to kill you and I need everyone to witness that.”

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When I went outside, I found a crowd of people witnessing the event.

The woman, a respected senior police officer who is well known in the community, was literally on her knees pleading with the man not to shoot her.

He had a gun in his hand and the officer tried to run away, but he accosted her.

The man spent almost an hour trying to force her into his car, but to no avail because the woman was heavily built, while the man was short and slender.

Spectators encouraged the woman to fight back, but she could not because she was traumatised.

She continuously begged her husband not to kill her.

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What puzzles me is the fact that the woman always had a pistol, but on that day she did not have it. I was told she is one of the best police officers in the country.

It was surprising the way she allowed her partner to treat her the way he did while everyone was watching.

As the drama continued, I approached her best friend and asked why she did not phone the police.

She said the man would come and attack her if he found out she had alerted the police.

The friend looked so terrified and was visibly shivering so that she could not even hold her phone.

After the husband left the officer, her friends started talking about the incident.

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What I gathered from their conversation is that they perceived GBV as a normal thing.

It’s like they are used to allowing men to abuse them and get away with it.

It is about time women get rid of the fear and start defending themselves.

If need be, they should confront the perpetrators or report the matter to the police, instead of acting as if it’s normal that they should be beaten or threatened.

Even now, I’m still surprised how such a great police officer could normalise GBV. How is she going to protect others if she has such a perception about GBV?

The government and advocacy groups alone will not be able to protect women unless they also play their part by reporting such abuse.

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Recently, I wrote a story in which Richard Mamabolo from the Police and Prisons Civil Rights Union called on female officers to report the abuse that they endured in their workplaces.

Mamabolo said the union was struggling to assist most of the victims because they were reluctant to come forward and report GBV cases.

I support Mamabolo because if the victims continue to live in fear, instead of confronting the problem, it will not be easy to win this war.