Bowing to corona’s pressures

So, no handshake. Elbows are one way of making physical contact and showing mutual pleasure of saying hi!

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One thing’s for sure, there are certain cultures finding the handshake an essential part of a greeting and will be totally lost without it. Especially Macho Man, who flaunts his superiority by
squeezing your hand as if it were a hard-skinned lemon. Minutes afterward you’re still massaging palm, fingers and thumb to get the blood circulating.

The other extreme is the floppy, wet one executed by a nation who finds a hard, dry grip an insult. I’m unsure which I prefer. Maybe the Japanese way is the answer. Bowing. There’s no physical contact and allows for the required gap between bodies.

And little speakies. Just the odd konnichiwa. There’s not enough spittle to exchange. This gesture is both polite and, of more import, safe.

Naturally, Macho Man will find difficulty in executing this exercise. He’ll still get away with the elbow jobbie, in which case he’ll show his steel by giving your elbow an extra forceful flick.

But bowing? His pride doesn’t allow him to bow down to any squirt. It’s beneath his dignity.

Bowing has it disadvantages. Those suffering from a bad lower back find the greeting painful. Instead of a smile, an essential part, the recipient receives a grimace, sending the wrong signal and be
considered an insult.

Wedding couples find the absence of a kiss an anticlimax after being pronounced officially married.

An elbow tap won’t do the trick. Nor will the bow. No bride wants to show inferiority by bowing to the groom. However, she’s okay with him bowing. Ouch!

For portly couples, the threat of snapping corsets and kidney belts mean elbows are the way to go.

What about Eskimos? Noses play a vital role in their lives – both socially and romantically.

Can’t see elbowing or bowing as particularly stimulative. A dying breed?

The quicker corona is wiped out, the sooner we get back to normalcy. Even if it means hands mangled by Macho Man.

Cliff Buchler.

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