Black is not so beautiful

My first child recently turned a year old and leading up to her first birthday party, I looked forward to ensuring it was a memorable and precious day, filled with balloons and gifts.

Her first birthday was a big deal for me. Reaching a year of her life, as well as of motherhood, was a milestone worth celebrating, despite the lockdown regulations. I made sure to find the best baker to create a beautiful unicorn cake, unicorn-themed decor was bought, big helium balloons were ordered and I also got a tiara for my little girl to feel like a princess on her special day.

All that was left was for me to head to one of the two big toy stores at the local mall to find her a new, entertaining and educational birthday gift. But the trip to the mall left me with a bitter taste in my mouth. I went to my usual spot, Toys R Us, where I often went to the Babies R Us section to stock up on a few of her daily items.

Since this was my go-to store, I thought it would be the perfect place to get her a toy since that was their main business. “There are no black dolls here,” I said to my friend who had joined me. “There are only white dolls with all sorts of hair and eye colour. “My child can’t relate to this.”

As we perused rows and shelves in search of dolls that looked similar to my child, we only found one. “But that’s not a black doll. Yes, it is a bit darker than the white dolls but it is not brown enough. Let’s leave.” Not only did I leave the store, I left the entire mall as I was frustrated at how an entire store dedicated to toys only had one doll that my child could relate to.

Another friend suggested I try the other big store at the mall, Toy Kingdom, as it had a different variety.

“Hi. I would like a gift for my daughter. She is turning one,” I said to one of the workers. She led me to a pink teddy bear. “It sings, teaches numbers and nursery rhymes and also lights up. “Toddlers love these kinds of toys,” she tried to convince me. Testing out the toy, it blurts out Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

That bitter taste in my mouth returned. Why is it singing in English? My daughter is not English and neither am I. But I succumbed to the pressure and ended up buying the singing teddy bear, as well as a musical instrument as time was not on my side to go hunting for a relevant toy.

Shortly after my daughter’s birthday, I got into a debate with a stranger on Facebook about white privilege, using this issue as an example. She told me if I want a black doll, I should go to Shoprite. Someone else suggested I search for a supplier of black dolls online. But that is not fair. How come I cannot go to the local mall to find a black doll that sings about nonyane tse pedi godimo ga setlhare in a country where nearly 80% of the population is black?

Rorisang Kgosana.

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