Uncle Cyril told us… cannabis is not just for smoking

I know it has been decriminalised for a while now, but I was surprised to hear President Cyril Ramaphosa telling the nation last week that he places a lot of hope on cannabis to create jobs and to help the economy to recover.

Over the years, we have been convinced that this plant is the main feature in Satan’s most prized gardens.

And being a good rural boy, I bought into the hype surrounding this weed.

It’s a gateway drug, it will turn you into a rapist and murderer, it will make you lazy and kill off all your brain cells and it may even prompt you to play vinyl pop music records backwards, I was made to believe.

But no, Uncle Cyril told us. It’s not just for smoking.

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I turned to the internet and a new world opened up to me.

Consumed in the traditional way, it has huge health benefits, a very presentable, professional looking website told me.

Apparently it melts away muscle tension, it speeds up recovery, it helps with mental health management and it promotes mindfulness.

Of course I take this with a pinch of salt – after Covid and the vaccination debate I take everything on the internet with a pinch of salt.

In my early 20s, I made a friend who smoked cannabis several times a day.

He often told me the same things. Admittedly his weed smoking was eventually the reason for ending the friendship.

He didn’t have a job and wasn’t interested in getting one, he sponged off his sister and brother-in-law, had no ambition and was completely unreliable.

And I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he plays records backwards. But he firmly believed in the health benefits of his habit.

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What I haven’t read before, however, was a fascinating report on the economic benefits of legalised cannabis cultivation.

Uncle Cyril may just be onto something.

Many of his fellow ANC officials remind me a lot of my pothead former friend, but this approach to a formerly demonised crop is a perfect example of someone thinking out of the box.

Mr President, I wish you well on this fresh new approach.

Jobs and an economic boost is what we need in this country and if it takes the green weed to give it to us, I’m behind you.

But, please, make a note in advance: I’m not playing any records backwards!