Baby showers for pregnant teens? No thanks

So there I was channel surfing on Tuesday night. Lo and behold, on SABC2 I came across a show called 16 And Pregnant, the South African version.

Call me old fashioned, even at my very young age, but I do not understand why teenage girls who fall pregnant are having baby showers.

I know people will say babies are blessings and I am aware of that, but I just do not understand why there is a celebration for the loss of youth so early under such dire circumstances.

I was fortunate to have been thrown a surprise baby shower when I was expecting my son. My friends and family planned this secretly, a huge feat considering how nosy I am by nature.

To this day, I still feel indebted for the amazing gifts I got. My pregnancy was eight long months. There were days I could not even walk, not to mention get out of bed.

The baby shower was a wonderful day when I met with people with whom I shared my fears and joys about motherhood. I remember one of the jokes at the table was how I fell pregnant while married and in my thirties.

I remember being 18 in high school. One of my school mates had fallen pregnant and her mother and her best friend planned a baby shower for her. My father refused to let me go.

He said I was too young. I just did not understand the logic that led to his decision. Today, I fully understand. Teenage pregnancy, though common, cannot and should not be celebrated.

You see, if you’re a teenager, having a shower means that those attending this shower are themselves teenagers.

As I watched the programme, I cringed at how these young girls were excited by the simplest of things and how they spoke like children.

When it comes to parenting, it’s each to their own. But we have to be honest – there is nothing to celebrate about teenage pregnancy.

We cannot be normalising the fact that a grandmother is 38 years old.

Shower teenagers with information and life skills. Otherwise, we are failing them.

Kekeletso Nakeli-Dhliwayo